SIMULAATIO 3D

10th->12th June 2005; Varkaus, Finland

Old farts never fade away, they enter the stratosphere and shine eternally in methane sunsets.
The scene is alive and all you cynical fuckers living in disbelief should stop doing what I did for the last four years. Mega-greets to NRG, Noid and all the organizers who kept bitching us all until we understood this was an event not to be missed. Yeah, they were correct.
Special greetings to Sivu, and everyone in Byterapers Inc for THA gallery. Slengpungers, you rock too and have the best search-engine for sceners and scene-events, but why not do an extended search-routine, which would feature the rest of the known scene-galleries in their results?

- lemming/orange 13th of June 2005

ps. photos taken under a serious influence of various substances
pps. apologizes to anal jerks for imperfect English


Friday around 21:30: The arrival. Hitting the joint with Fedja/Doomsday, Porkkana/XES, Primon/Radio, Visualize/Farbrausch, Ureator/Coma and ?. The main attraction of Varkaus, the pulp factory, can be seen on the far right of the horizon.


The pulp-factory. If you would have been smoking what we were smoking you'd know why this was taken :).


The main party began here :). Fedja, Jope and Porkkana enjoying audial gay-disco pleasure from the nearby ghettoblastah.


Primon/Radio on the right becomes the evil spirit of the grill as psychedelic states occur.


Hours went and braincells were spent. The sunrise was amazingly beautiful (this picture was taken around 05:00 AM!). In the back, the proud members of Mersunimersumi, Mädchen and Unimersumi. On the front, Dr.Dick/(B), Ureator/Coma, Porkkana/XES, their hippy friend, Astu's gal, Fedja and Virne/Coma dancing to Goldfrapp plus Primon/Radio and some local fucker (we guessed).


Same shit, different angle.


Some people went to sleep around 8:00 AM, some didn't. Those who did, woke up around 8:30 AM. Please note Ureator/Coma's dynamic waking up development in these early morning photos.


Yeah, hangover was just a ridiculous word at this point. Kingston Wall was rocking on the car stereo, absolutely no one else in town was awake (except some lamers inside the partyplace) and we were high as kites! The ground was warm and felt soooo fucking good!


GET YELLOW KEY. OPEN TRUNK. USE CIDER WITH UREATOR.


Our movement is accomplished in six states. Suddenly the ground was hot like sauna. People were throwing their shirts off and TAKING the sun! :) H7/Damones in the middle showing example.


The morning went by and it was time to enter tha rocks. DJ Mini's new beat mixtape was banging. Everyone was high. Change returns success. Saviour's gal, Antti, Sir Garbagetruck/Accession, Charly, Dr.Robotnik, Porkkana and Fobia from left to right.


Jope/Instant Ejakulation is probably doing some new kind of recretional drugs and Reko/Instant Ejakulation is watching with pleasure.


Primon's a private dancer, yeah, and so is Porkkana is too, dancing for money, do what you want me to do. I wanna make you freak, huh huh huh huh!!


Some people I can't recognize here but we had some great time so what the fuck :). On the left, TNT/Beyond Force. Kakka/Damones (with the stylish Movicol shirt!) is probably showing some sick shit on his phone to the guy on the left, on the right next to him Grue/Beyond Force and Cstain.


Grue/Beyond Force and Cstain enjoying herbal cigarettes with beer.


Break/Instant Ejakulation and Sir Garbagetruck/Accession straight from The States, getting drunk off their heads. Basically nothing new here :).


We got some environmental assistance from several bottle-grannies. Here's a lovely dog one of them brought! :) Do also note Nosfe/MFX & ISO & FAG (this guy belongs to some serious acronyms) who has some beautiful legs and a stylish skirt!


JSA/DDG utters a digitized robot-like voice I DESTROY BEER and keeps his promise. 6000Hz, 6 bits and 8 promilles, believe that.


Words cannot describe this situation, nor Kakka's facial expression. Orgasmic. Beautiful. TNT/Beyond Force can't hold his laugh, neither could anyone else. Grue takes it like the nasty beast he is.


Haha okay at this point I gotta admit this html was ripped from Jazz's wedding gallery (greetings to that great couple!). Macroe'd the IMG SRC's and so on, but originally the description in this slot was "The bestman and the groom." .. And I'm not kidding. Now this is a serious proof that cosmic confusion excists. JSA sees that it's better to go fetch more beer instead of joining the gangbang Kakka/Damones is suggesting. H7 doesn't seem to object.


Saviour/Complex with his gal.


Yeah. Who's the greatest DJ? MINI! Virne/Coma and Astu/FLO witness the fitness of Charly/Damage and H7/Damones.


Dick by the pound...Dickin' hoes down! The mutha had a harem of his own for hours. Pinza/Unique and that dude I don't recognize attempt to have their piece of the pie.


Virne/Coma, Astu/FLO, Primon/Radio and H7/Damones coming and going without error. On the far right Kraku/(B) and JSA/DDG.


Some original lamerkillahz here! Apatia/Coma in the back, while the Byterapin' brothaz Sivu and Enema strike a pose. Goddamn that shirt Sivu is wearing looks cool!


Fat pete enters the state of surrender.. but only to perform a powerful comeback! Fedja, Antti and Fobia focus on rolling illegal activities.


The intro-compo is about to begin! Jaffa/Static has a temporary 3D conflict (probably thanks to that home-made mud-brew he was drinking ;)


JUMALAUTA! Yeah, the C64 rocks believe that.


Between the intro- and democompo we had to return to the rocks to do some more psychtropic substances and alcohol, but first Nosfe/MFX wanted to go to the local Red Cross office to donate blood for sick children, so they too would have the chance to get drunk and stoned; unfortunately the local administrator, Make, was already passed out and had locked the door behind him.


Yeah, the demo-competition is already in effect, and it's time for DAMONES' entry from the legendary fucker Kakka!


YEAH, MOTHERFUCKERS, EAT THAT!


EXTENDED REALTIME RASTERSPLITS, MOTHERFUCKERS! Damones rocks! This is what scene is all about, competition and proving who's got the greatest fucking power-drill, not some fucking friendship rules shit creamed with 3D-lan-wan-fucking-blasting crap and coca-fuckin-cola.


Fuck, the Thievery Corporation. Yeah, they cops had to arrive at some point. Spilling people's bottles and giving everyone a hard time. It's been at least a year since we stopped being Soviet Union so chill, morons.


The Coma brothaz Apatia and Caveman don't give a fuck. They've got their bottles safely in those bags :).


Thus spoke zarathrusta.


Gotta take a nap at some point. It was about 4:30AM between Saturday and Sunday at this point. Meanwhile something wonderful is happening in the front-seat. It involves herbs.


Not everyone can join the Unimersumi-crew, but when you do, you get a device that lets you adjust the passage of space and time. By using such device we flew to Berlin, a city in a civilized country, where this is legal.


But who wants to sleep when there's a party going on. Here are some of the last survivors of the sunday morning; Jope, Break, Uncle-X/MFX and Primon.


The stoned survivors at the dawn of the dead.


And those fucking cops are still there. The morons have no idea the legendary pirates DDT/Accession and Sir Garbagetruck are sitting on the pavement next to them! :)


This is distorted but the cops don't like it when you take photos of them when they are being all bossy and important so of course I had to do so.


The cops ain't shit. Uncle-X/MFX, Enema, DDT, Sir Garbagetruck, Hooligan/DCS and Sivu/(B) can't be bothered.


And here are the final survivors of the sunday morning. From left to right Hooligan/DCS, Fedja/Doomsday, Virne/Coma, Nosfe/MFX and Grue/Beyond Force.


This fucking idiot on the left didn't shut up for four hours and just couldn't understand to fuck off. In my hometown teens pour gasoline on these idiots. Sir Garbagetruck on the right is probably telling him not to teach his father how to fuck.


Still alive. Riotbot joins the crew and Nosfe gives a happy dance as he discovers he can overcome his tolerance on Stolishnaya-vodka!


Staying alive in 2005! JSA/Digitize Design Group, DDT/Accession, ? and Visualize/Farbrausch feel purified by the morning rain.


The organizers who couldn't find the toiler-paper storage. Can't blame them though, their expression says they hadn't taken a shit in three days :).


We survived Simulaatio 3D! Oooom-rayh a new way for gnomes to say hooooray!


The evil inside Nosfe came out. Nothing's better than a good cigarette after vomiting vodka and grill-crap. Hooligan verifies.


Porkkana/XES is back to rule the scene.


Leia the Slengpung mistress and Little Bitchard/MFX who I couldn't recognize thanks to my miracle-state and thought he was foreign 'coz I probably couldn't make out what he was saying.. oh yeah, and nearly legendary Melwyn/Farbrausch, who's finally passed my party-visiting record by 3-5 happenings or something like that (bro, you gotta make a list some day to prove it ;) Anyway, respect.


The time's nearly eleven in the morning, and Jope is checking out; on the left, his legendary Saab.


"Accession - catch us if ya can!" And they took my baby away! (Kakka/Damones on the back-seat)


Uncle-X/MFX, Droid/Haujobb/Farbrausch/HiRMU/Damones/Insert-a-group-here (I actually asked around a lot and people on #suomiscene couldn't tell which of his hundred groups he is in right now, but respect) and H7/Damones share an umbrella. Damn it was a good party, and these dudes' expressions say it all.


The blue buuuuuus is calling usssssssssss. Or silver. But here's the notoriously late party-bus. Grue and Dr.Dick/(B) on the front right.


Melwyn and Virne feel sad and nostalgic because the party has to end and they have to go :-) can't blame them though


And finally the pioneers of the universe, Sivu/(B) and Porkkana/XES. Nobody disagrees. This was the party. We came, we saw, we conquered.


"Was it all just Wasted Time?" The sad cars of Lemming/Orange, Primon/Radio and H7/Damones have to go home now :(


Special thanks and greetings from yours truly to everyone who attended!


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